My Thoughts Run Dark by foundinthought, literature
Literature
My Thoughts Run Dark
I’ve got my share of memories
Dreams of the future
Nightmares of the past
Sanity that probably won’t last
I once thought I knew it all
Only to realize I was naïve
Life has no promises it keeps
Death always claims what it reaps
Looking forward is looking back
A steady cadence of history repeated
Watching in silence as a smile turns to a frown
Knowing that someday, I will be brought down
I try to make a life worth living
Failing time and time again
Plans broken and futures stark
Confidence eroded and thoughts dark
I feel the hole in my soul
The inescapable loss and pain
Wondering if it was worth the time
My life a punishmen
Silver hairs appear on my head
So hard to get myself out of bed
I may be young at twenty-six
Feeling life is too old to really fix
These bones are so very tired
These nerves so wrongly wired
Pain where there should only be joy
So different from when I was just a boy
When did it all become so bleak?
What is the antidote that I seek?
I wish I could find the right question to answer
Losing this race against my emotional cancer
Sometimes, life seems way too long
I often wonder when it all went wrong
I vividly remember turning nineteen
Believing there was life left to be seen
I should have stopped searching then
Satisfied with the places I had
Turning of the Wheel by foundinthought, literature
Literature
Turning of the Wheel
All this rage and all this pain
Combined to make my life profane
Walking down this path isn't sane
My love for life begins to wane
So it is time to end the misery
No reason to think of calamity
Just an everlasting sense of brevity
Too short to live without some levity
So here is to the times I smile
And to the love I feel all the while
To friends who stay mile after mile
To family who hold me through every trial
So here is to the life I want to feel
To the people thrown in to sweeten the deal
Here is to the continued turning of the wheel
I may be scarred but I will always heal
He's lost it all
His reasons to be
He's given it up
Dead man walking
Life has no meaning
No purpose or direction
Nothing left worth living
Dead man walking
No friends, no family
No anchor to this life
Empty day, empty night
Dead man walking
His hopes underwater
His dreams forgotten
Future looks like the past
Dead man walking
Fuck Everything and Fuck Everyone by foundinthought, literature
Literature
Fuck Everything and Fuck Everyone
I see the red and don't hit the brake
So sick of living for someone else's sake
The lights flash by highlighting the tears on my face
Life keeps on going and I can't keep pace
I give and give and get nothing in return
I didn't ask for it but the facts still burn
Friends and family, they're all the same
Most of the fault but none of the blame
What's the point in living this life at all?
For every person I lift up, they just watch me fall
I smile and wave and cheer up their day
Sometimes they say thank you as they turn away
So fuck everything and fuck everyone
It's taken too long for me to be done
I'm done with this pain and done with this s
A fork in the road
Yeah, here I go
Make a choice
Blaze a new trail
I liked where I was going
No, I won’t be stopped
Don’t need the pavement
Don’t need the signs
I make my own way
Defying expectation
Independence galore
No cog in the machine
No weight on my shoulders
Living for me
The light is red
But I don't slow
Headlights flash by
But still I go
The adrenaline builds
And I shoot the gap
The thrill feels like life
Fear and joy overlap
I hear the tires screech
I hear the horns blare
Too fast to look
Too mad to care
I wake up to light
Wondering if I'm dead
Fluorescent white beams
Fall on my hospital bed
You are there beside me
Concern evident on your face
The fight we had, forgotten
No anger, just relief in its place
Tears stain your cheeks
And I pull you near
I whisper that I'm sorry
That you're all that I hold dear
The clock strikes one
Yet here I still sit
Restless and absorbed
Walking the edge of the pit
Waiting and waiting
Not dropping the ball
Running out of patience
Watching myself fall
Awake with a start
And I look at the clock
Only a minute has passed
Tick tock tick tock
Sticks and stones
All these broken bones
A trip to the ER
How easily hurt we are
These bones will heal
No more pain to feel
I wish pain was always this way
So simple to fade away
The saying is wrong
Words are so strong
They cut and they break
Leaving pain in their wake
The pain will fade
As time is made
But it’s pain that will never
Stay away forever
Sometimes I wonder what its all worth
The thought races through my mind, back and forth
Accompanied by other thoughts, they parade through my mind
I could think all day, not looking for something to find
Searching into the depths, constantly getting lost
My blessing, my curse, my sanity being the cost
I am haunted by imagine ghouls and ghosts
My mind plays a role, that of a host's
It gives them a tour of every window and door
Even a thorough explanation of each and every floor
Finally they leave, and sleep overcomes me
I retreat into my dreams, but even they claim a fee
To stop these thoughts, I must end my life
I will do it now, hand me that